BANDITO STYLE

The problem with free markets.

2008-02-10T14:01:00.000-08:00

The top yahoo story today tells of a new
"American Idol themed attraction"
where park guests will publicly try out their singing
pipes and be judged.
Should they be judged to be able singers,
they will have a shot at being Famous.

(The central goal of modern man.)
to stand on that greatest of bully pulpits
and blow a raspberry at his brothers...
shouting," Nanny nanny I'm better than you!"

Older folks don't think like this... Not yet.
but our current geriatric crop
will all be dead soon enough
And before you know it, there wont be
anyone left
whose comfortable referring to something
as "tacky"

So hooray for us.

History's leavings.

Enough convincing already,
where does a bandito go
to sign up for this thing?

Well, its in Orlando.

And I just happen to be heading to Florida
for a Bandito conference a bit later this year,
Perhaps I will throw down my sombrero and
show these carnies just how muy padre I am.

I predict this new attraction will be a
raging success for Disney.
But I cant say that congratulations
are exactly in order.

Corporations may get fat by
"giving people what they want"
But speaking in anthropological terms,
"giving people what they want"
is just so much Social strip mining to me.
This is a phrase that I've coined to describe
any act that accelerates the erosion of civilization.
Feel free to use it,.
(you'd be surprised how often its useful)

If I get to meet Dr. Paul
I'll ask him about what he thinks of creating
a free market exception to combat tackiness.

Listen friends,
most people are fools.
Its a fact.
whether it is noble or not
to suffer these fools with dignity-
is a debate for another day.

But I'm certain of one thing,
The clock is spreading up exponentially

So even you non-fools out there
might wanna think about
putting on your party pants.

Vote for Ron Paul or your a Carny

2008-02-06T06:51:00.000-08:00

It occurs to me that the current nomination trend

is creating a large ideological Ron Paul shaped hole

Smack in the middle of the presidential race.

The nominees are so offensive to so many people

that a libertarian could steal the whole thing.

If he runs on immigration and the economy

and mentions his religious beliefs a bit

(which is not his style but it could happen)

He could really make a go of it.

People that don't wish to hold their noses while they vote

could really make a difference.

And the little L next to his name will be more inviting

to lefties than the little R that so repelled them.

Come on. Support Paul.

End the Blackout.

Give him some money.

Love is all you need.

Even if you ARE a carny.

Life Experience over the Reporters Deadline.

2008-01-27T09:16:00.000-08:00

Anybody whose ever found themselves ringside for a
newsworthy event, (particularly where a crime is involved)
knows firsthand already:

THE MEDIA ALWAYS GET IT WRONG...

ALWAYS.

I'll concede that if the story is important enough
and if public interest remains high enough, then
eventually the truth may come out.
But In my experience, when that happens,
The crime involves a famous person or politician -
which means that a corporate spin machine
of one kind or another will be in play,
Meaning of course,
that you STILL wont get the truth.

What you'll get instead is a prepackaged judgment
to save you the trouble of thinking so that you can
devote your precious time to more important things...
Like buying and selling useless crap.

At any rate, this is why I'm pretty weary about
this whole Bowers museum raid.

First, it smacks of politics (why the big show?)

Second, the concept of who rightfully owns what
when your talking about antiquities is a pretty slippery
slope. And as one who has traveled the world, that slope
is made even more slippery by corrupt governments
who will make money selling things
while they are in power only to have the next government
come along and dispute the sale...

Third, apparently an agent posed as an art dealer
some years back to catch one of Bowers curators
"in the act" I am the only one left that doesn't
believe in entrapment?
( Amateur lawyers spare me the textbook definition)
I know what entrapment is.

Fourth, Bias in the media.
So obvious I hesitate to include it.
What interests me though is that while the press have
always been biased, we now live in an age
where that bias is not only tolerated... but expected.
Indeed, you can tell which side of the political
spectrum a person falls into by simply taking note
of which media source he chooses.
And its generally felt that this is a good thing.
We decry the other guys media while
exalting ours own... Either way we're all just
being fed what we want to hear.

Shame on us.

Lastly, Reporters just don't have time to care.
Their tight deadlines have reduced them from
journalists (if they ever were) to naught but children.
Spreading rumors, Passing notes and copying
each others homework. Whats more, they know that
their half assed reporting will suffice to meet our
half assed interest.

So tell me all you Lofties, Hipsters, and New Urbanists...
Have you ever borne witness to a newsworthy event
that was later misrepresented in the media?

Why do YOU think it happened?

Lady in white

2008-01-22T18:43:00.000-08:00

Deap inside the Santa Ana Water Tower In my secret lair,
known only to a precious few, I stand as I so often do,
gazing out over the city of Santa Ana pondering its bright
future. I am the the Last Frito Bandito.
My Pistolas fire for justice... and my pistolas fire true...

CHAPTER ONE:
I was just about to head home when I received a call on my
super secret red Bandito phone. I pick up the receiver and
the mariachi music spilling from it stopped.
It was my secretary.

"Yes?"
"Someone to see you Mr. Bandito"
"Well, show him in then"
"He is a actually HER Mr. Bandito"
"Well show her in then."

That's how it began.
I didn't yet know who she was...
but it was clear that Michele Martinez
knew exactly who I was... and more specifically,
she knew what I could do.
Michele had come to the best...
she had had no other choice.
There was no coyness, no hesitation in her eyes.
This, of course, was normal.

People who saught out the Frito Bandito never did so lightly.
They did so because they had nowhere else to turn.

"Help me Frito Bandito,
I have nowhere else to turn." She said

So there it was. She had said it.
The Code of the Bandito required me to help her.
It had been this way for well over a hundred years.
These words alone.
were reason enough not to send her away.

But there was more to this one.

She was different from the rest of them...
It was as plain to see as the giant sombrero
I wore atop my head.
This woman, I thought, could be part of the solution.
And there was that something else about her which intrigued me-

something in her walk.

A kind of electrified urgency trailed her.
She carried it with her into my office.
It was enough to make the fillings in your teeth hurt.

Michele Martinez introduced herself dryly
in the manner of a politician
for whom pleasantries had become second nature.
Her white sleeved arm shot forward over my desk and she shook my
hand in the same automated manner...
Her mind it seemed, was clearly focused elsewhere.

She sat herself down in a way
I would not have believed possible.
In her signature white suit.
She took the seat from in front of my desk
spun it around,
straddled it,
rested her hands and chin on the chair back,
and grinned at me and then let out a great sigh
and said,

"They're trying to kill me"

I had known this was coming.
I had known this was coming from the moment
I had first laid eyes upon her.

She had been running from something.
And weren't they always?

From my position in the tower I could see that a line of
various new models of hybrids had begun forming below.

"Damn", she said... "I was followed"

"Does everyone know about this place?"
I wondered

Top 5 Santa Ana Restaurants

2008-01-20T01:02:00.000-08:00

First off, Id like to send a big Bandito Style shout out to the post that started it all... This fine Post by mi amigo, the unsinkable Senior Ben Dayhoe who posed this simple question" What would you Build?" Referring of course, to my favorite cause, the creation of a "Viable Downtown" in and around the areas surrounding the Santa Ana transportation terminus (train station) I believe that subject has been pretty well exhausted for the time being. So what do ya say, we talk about whats already here?

Now, so I can have something to work with, Anything that falls within the boundaries of Santa Ana will qualify. Sorry, but I gotta keep it real, and there just are not enough places near downtown to make this list fun. If you want to see a more varied and vibrant downtown then support the Renaissance Specific Plan, in the meant time, you can still walk to a few decent spots around here to eat... they aren't close and some people have been mugged walking at night, but if you get yourself some good walking shoes and collapsible baton and you should be fine. ..So tell me, what are your favorite Santa Ana Eating Establishments?

In no particular order here are my top five:

Gammys Cafe.
Its a bit of a hike, about a mile from the Santiago Street Lofts, but its still the closest spot on my list. My favorite Taco Place bar none and #1 draft pick for New Urbanist Hipsters who want real down to earth Mexican Food, but with that little something extra that says, "I appreciate your business and I think your a pretty OK person too" The new owner took over a few years back and did everything right. Every single time I walk out of that place I cant help but comment, "That guy really knows how to treat his customers" (But why he took down the cool neon cactus sign out front I'll never know.)

Ambrosia
The only 5 star in OC, need I say more? The Performing Arts center is downstairs so pick a night when you like whose playing and reserve a table for dinner early enough to give you ample time to visit the wine cellar lounge. This place is for special occasions only, don't go there for a quick bite unless your Donald Trump. And don't take your vegan friends... they wont like it.

Pangea
I like the owners and I like the food and I'm not sick of it yet... Im only mentioning one 2nd Street Promenade location this time and I'm afraid that Memphis and Gypsy aren't making the cut. (Let someone else claim them) I've been to both of them so many times that I now only patronize them when I have newbies in tow.

The Old Ship
Its English food that makes you wonder why people dont like English food. I'll wager a guess that its better than anything the Brits are serving on their side of the pond. and the beer is... well, its a good idea to bring a designated driver because Its gonna take you a while to make it through the selection of London Beers alone... Sop up some of the booze in your gut with a big plate of top shelf FishNChips (I ask for haddock) (dump a gallon of vinegar and salt on it or your just a puto.) Or get a British Breakfast and a Scotch egg... which is lovely. Or one of my all time favorite burgers The Captains Burger. You really cant go wrong-I've had it all. (The trifle or sticky toffee pudding for dessert would be ideal)

Jerrys Famous Deli
Across the street from South Coast Plaza it sits near the old indy theater in an the area locals like to Call "South Coast Metro." But we all know better. The menu has about five hundred items on it so your bound to find something you like. I usually get an Egg cream Soda with a deli tray of lox and white fish and bagels... Yeah, its a Jewish Deli... what was your first clue?

So thats my Top 5, What have you got?

Banditos of the week

2008-01-15T19:08:00.000-08:00

Smells Like Nag Champa

2007-11-29T03:40:00.000-08:00

I am always deeply jealous of anyone who can

proudly march headlong into old age whilst

somehow maintaining a child's view of the world.

Hippies are like the guy at a big dinner

who leaves before the check arrives...

It feels like they aren't carrying their due portion

of the weight of the world...

And as people of good conscience,

we quite naturally hate them .

(at least I do)

And rightly so I think...

But I cant ever really be sure

that it is not out of envy that

they so infuriate me.

Because they remind me

of how I once was...

and that image that they see when they look out at the world-

the image thats hidden in that magic 3D puzzle of life-

just wont appear for me anymore.

I think perhaps developing a sense of social responsibility

has permanently purged that image from my sight...

And it makes me just a little sad.